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Writer's pictureStephanie

What the Heck is an Ego?

Updated: Sep 6, 2020

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.


No, seriously... did you know that a lot our self destruction is directly because of the ego? Everyone has one, but not everyone knows how to tame it. It's all a part of being human. So then, what is it? Why is it such a big deal if I tame it or not?


Think of it this way; the ego is like contamination of the soul. That sounds kind of extreme, but hear me out...


We are all made up of energy. Pure, untouched raw energy that neither grows or dissipates.

We are then assigned to a vessel (for us, it's the human body), and then we are tasked to learn soul lessons. More on that later...


When we are born into this life, we are just as pure, innocent and raw as our true selves (the soul). However, as we grow, we collect "contaminates". You see, humans are emotional creatures and tend to act and react as such. Unfortunately, it isn't always in a positive light, even so, the opposite is true as well. Sometimes we are TOO positive. What is boils down to is balance. We are here to learn about how to balance the natural instinct to amplify.


My personal thought on when the ego starts to show itself is in the toddler who just learned how to say "MINE". If you're a parent, you know exactly what I am talking about! The little ones go through a phase of either demanding an item, or claiming something as theirs. Don't worry though, it is all a part of the process. The whole reason we are here as humans is to gain human traits and then learn more on how to connect back to the soul.


Some humans never get back to connecting to the soul and therefore are sent to repeat the process until they have learned the lesson they were supposed to learn. This is what is known as past lives, reincarnation or deja vu. If you have ever heard of "your higher self", this is the version of you that has completed all lessons and is cosmically mastered. Pure, love and light.


So now what is it that is weighing us down and preventing us from rising to be the best versions of ourselves? One simple letter.....





That's right. "I". On a daily basis, most of us aren't aware of how often we use this letter egotistically. Now, I'm not talking about how it's used when you are expressing yourself to get a better understanding from a peer, but rather in the form of selfish thoughts. Such as "I want" or "I need". In fact, most days the human mind is more focused on what is going on in their little world, and I'm no exception. However I am working on this.


The easiest way to start to tame the ego is by approaching situations from outside of yourself. Emotions make this extremely hard to do, but with practice and patience it becomes easier over time. Think about the moment like this: Is this a life altering moment? If I over react, what damage will it do to myself and/or the other party? Is my indifference to the situation causing anxiety or fear for someone else?


I find that a steady, calm approach to most situations helps to remedy the ego. I take a deep breath before I react and think about how the other person is feeling, or if this is truly a "be all end all" situation. Guess what, for most situations...IT'S NOT! Everything is temporary. Therefore there is no point in a reaction that won't benefit anyone!


But the ego isn't just about actions and reactions... it's about how you approach material things as well.





Some of the biggest, loudest egos are politicians, celebrity's, and the rich. While it's true that not all of these examples wear their ego on their sleeves, most do. This is evident by the selfish nature in how they present themselves, or the overly lavish lifestyles they live without regard to how they could help others. Living beyond your means, with disregard for outsiders is a huge red flag that they need an ego check.


There are examples of these categorized people who do not give into their ego, such as one of my favorites: Keanu Reeves. Now, I'm not a fan of his acting, but his loving and down to earth nature has earned him a spot in my heart. This is an example of selflessness. Seriously, if you don't know the half of it, look up information about him. He truly gets what it means to be successful but conscious of his surroundings.


That goes for everyone though, you can be successful, have money, and treat yourself but in a way that is also conscious of those around you. If you don't make it all about the material items and focus more on matters of the heart and mind, then the kindness and love you spread in the world will grow.


The same goes for beauty and self care. It's okay to want to look good, and feel good, but there is a limit on how far you take that. If it takes over your life, becoming the most important thing to you, then you are doing it wrong. It is absolutely okay to wear make up or have clothes that make you feel good, or want to look presentable. It's the ego that makes us obsessed with these things. Like thoughts of " I'm not pretty/handsome enough.", "I need more people to tell me I look good.", "I need to look better than [blank].", "I need to be perfect.".



Not only is this damaging to your mental health (and sometimes physical), but it is also creating a more toxic ego that gets in the way of your growth. Everything, must be a balance. Find joy in these things, but do not overindulge.


So now that you have a few examples of what an ego is, and a general sense of what it is doing to your soul purpose and enlightenment, we can recognize these habits within ourselves and practice balance. It doesn't happen over night, so don't beat yourself up over it if you've tried but haven't succeeded. It takes practice and patience, but overall when you begin to let go of ego you will start to feel more peace, tranquility, and deeper purpose. You will start to recognize patterns and learn how to break chains that have been generational or taught.


It becomes a way of life, and a way to feel more connected to everything. You end up stopping for a moment and realizing how much more is going on instead of being stuck inside yourself. Since I've been practicing this, I've noticed that I no longer become overwhelmed at simple things. I've realized that everything is temporary and there's no point to panic over things I can't control, or become too emotional over a moment. As I've said, it's okay to feel your feelings or enjoy life's pleasures and materials, but just be conscious that it doesn't consume you.


Remember that you are not the only one with struggles; love and protect others physically, mentally, emotionally. Remember that you are inherently "perfect", you just need to reconnect with your true self.


I challenge you to start letting go of your ego. Gently at first, to get used to it, and then as time goes on, challenge yourself further.


Let me know in the comments if you have already started practicing ego release and what things you have noticed since then!


Love and Light


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